The Curse of the Polish Summer Part 1
Now as an Englishman living and breathing in Poland I find myself enduring new situations and new challenges all the time. Some are pleasant and some, I have to say, cause me great distress. One of the more bizarre adjustments that I have to make has come about this summer. Now as I arrived here in Poland in mid-September of last year, this is my first true summer here. And I have to say I am very impressed with the warmer weather – more sunny days than I am used to. Regular clear blue skies which are a pleasure to see. And of course, fewer grey damp and dank rainy days to endure. These I do not miss! So, on the whole, I’m greatly loving the warmer and drier summer days here in dear old Poland. But as they say,”with every wish there comes a curse”. And for me the curse of the Polish summer comes in the form of a small flying insect. The dreaded pesky mosquito! Or mozzie as it is more affectionately known. Now back home in the good old UK, I can go for a walk in the woods and my bare flesh is left alone. I can sit outside in the garden and eat my brunch without becoming the brunch and of course I can sleep at night with the window open without the fear of blood sucking visitor entering my room and zeroing in on my tasty English blood. I swear that the word has got around in the tiny insect world that mosquitoes live in. I can just hear them talking:
Mosquito #1 ”Hey bro have you tried that tasty English blood yet”? Mosquito #2 ”no man can’t say I have”. Mosquito #1 wow.... you should try it. It’s much tastier than Polish blood.
Mosquito # 2 ”sounds great where do I get some”? Mosquito #1 ”I’ll give you the flight plan...... and hey, take all your friends with you”!
So the word is out and my tasty English blood is a very much sought after delicacy. Each night the tiny low frequency buzzing little bastards seek me out and its driving me crazy. Having spent a few nights now being the dining table for the little bastards I have become paranoid about them. In the morning you wake up and think to yourself, what's that tiny itch I have on my neck and unknowingly start to scratch it? At first, it's just an itch but within a couple of minutes, it’s the flaming red hotspot from hell and you have now discovered that you have ten other itches all over your body. Neck, ears arms and hands and even your foot. How the bloody hell do the little bastards get to suck the vintage English nectar from my foot. (Note to myself) Must stop sticking my feet out from under the bed covers. So her I am itching scratching cursing and tearing lumps of flesh from my body with my fingernails..... to be continued
Tony
Have a look at the underlined words or phrases. They are all informal. Look them up in a special dictionary.
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